8/3/20; Mile: 1,519; Elevation: 6,312 ft.
I’ve never had such a hard time getting back on trail. Talyon took me from Mt. Shasta back to the trail crossing at I5 and let me out of his truck. I had tears in my eyes before the door was closed and the pack slung on my back. I had to focus on NOT looking at him as he drove off to leave me alone to my own graces. With unfocused eyes, I trudged under the freeway overpass and headed to the trailhead with a heavy heart and feet. Here I go again.
This is a hard day. All of the feedback I’ve researched talks about how it’s a long uphill hike with few water sources, they didn’t mention that I’d have emotional troubles to add icing to the cake. And so I trudged. One foot in front of the other, head down, sweat dripping off of my nose. I’m not a thru-hiker now, I’m a mule. Just going ‘that way’ with my load. No reason, no hope, just breathing and walking. I can’t remember feeling this slow and unenergetic since the Sierra, yet I’m not carrying a heavy physical load. It’s just emotional. Why are town departures so hard for me?
After I don’t know how many hours of slowly slogging, I just decide to sit in some some slight shade and rest. I don’t even remove my pack, I just sit with my knees bent at 90-degrees, and lean back against the granite wall with my earbuds whispering in my ears…..About an hour later I wake up. This is one of those surreal wake-ups, can’t tell the time of day or my location. The earbuds are still whispering, adding to the confusion. What the fuck happened to me? If you’ve ever woken up after full anesthesia from surgery, you may get what I’m talking about. Time just warped on me.
Or maybe it was just the sun coming out of the shadows of the trees and mountains that woke me up. It doesn’t really matter, I need to get moving anyway. The trail around here goes around the southern edge of Castle Crags, then goes north as it climbs around a southern-facing bowl. At the northern edge of the bowl, the terrain flattens out a bit and the trees diminish. And there are campspots. Lots of them. The view of Mt. Shasta is almost as good as from the valley, just more valuable. The view to the south with Castle Crags is quite extraordinary, and I have cell reception again. Poor Sarah, she gets to hear me at my worst…again. I’m sorry Honey Bunny.
Very nice post. I can feel it. Actually, I did feel a lot like that when I went through there. The thoughts of quitting, and the beauty of the mountains there, was very hard.
Can’t wait to read more. Keep ’em coming! You’re a great writer.